Tonight featured ham, broccoli, caramelized onions, shredded mozzarella, and angel hair pasta. It was yummy. So yummy that I'm tempted to forget how tired I am, how much I ate for dinner, and go back in for seconds and thirds.

I also am craving chocolate tonight. No clue why. Is it the lactating thing? Is this a sign that my body might suddenly decide to give up more than it's currently doing? Should I just give up and let go of my hope to breastfeed this child altogether?

It's been nearly three months since I began to pump. Nearly three months of this, every time I wake up, every time I wake up in the night and think of going to pump and deciding that I'd rather get the rest than the milk. Watching drips turn to drops and back to drips. Never even coming close to filling a bottle. A 4oz bottle. I have absolutely no hope of ever filling an 8oz bottle.

I've done a good job. I'm hopeful that this will last a bit longer. Just a bit longer.