Tonight featured ham, broccoli, caramelized onions, shredded mozzarella, and angel hair pasta. It was yummy. So yummy that I'm tempted to forget how tired I am, how much I ate for dinner, and go back in for seconds and thirds.

I also am craving chocolate tonight. No clue why. Is it the lactating thing? Is this a sign that my body might suddenly decide to give up more than it's currently doing? Should I just give up and let go of my hope to breastfeed this child altogether?

It's been nearly three months since I began to pump. Nearly three months of this, every time I wake up, every time I wake up in the night and think of going to pump and deciding that I'd rather get the rest than the milk. Watching drips turn to drops and back to drips. Never even coming close to filling a bottle. A 4oz bottle. I have absolutely no hope of ever filling an 8oz bottle.

I've done a good job. I'm hopeful that this will last a bit longer. Just a bit longer.

I've been trying to drink vegetable juice lately. About a cup a day. It's healthy, it's good for me, and I hate veggies. Maybe hate's a strong word. I just don't like it much. At all.

This leads me to wonder what the stuff tastes like. It doesn't look very appealing. But the juice seems okay; cold tomato soup. Cold, healthy, tomato soup.

I never thought that this would be the solution to drinking the stuff, but I serve it up in a small cup with a handful of saltines. Thinking of it as cold soup is the trick to get it into my stomach.

Who knew?

Am I the only woman here that gets the tax refund and rubs her hands in glee at being able to restock the pantry shelves with canned goods and paper products? I've got a serious trip to Costco to make in the next week. Serious. I mean, we're talking about cases of canned vegetables, flats of peanut butter, and all sorts of other stuff.

If I'm bringing home an infant in the next few days/weeks I'd better finalize some of those great plans I'd started running together in my brain. There are some library books to read, some menus to plan, some recipes to try out and freeze (once my freezer stops having to store lots and lots of bottles of breastmilk) and start planning ahead how we're going to arrange the car seats so that we can fit one more human in the back seat.

Speaking of fitting people in the car, we're also beginning to plan a small road trip. A day trip, to a national park, so my girl can hug a tree. She loves hugging trees. I'd shake my head wistfully, to be so young again, but then I'd not be her mother and I'd miss that more than a second childhood. Her daddy wants to show her snow, and I believe that this park is high enough to still have a decent chance of snow on the ground. I don't know how we'll manage all of that, but it's going to be fun.

Another weekend draws to a close. My tip for today: my family's version of tuna noodle is a box of mac'n'cheese, a can of tuna, and about a cup of peas (or a can of them). Did you know that if you're using frozen peas and want to make sure that they're fully thawed and heated through, you could add them to the boiling water when you're cooking the macaroni? Then just drain them together. Voila! Hot peas. Also: toss in a couple of handfuls of shredded natural cheese to counter the cheese powder/cheese stuff in the pouch. Extra cheesy. And me? I'm all about the cheese.

Sometime in the next year we're going to have to get a second car for the Boy. Now that he's got his license it's nice to let him take the car by himself to work for the day and let me grab a few more seconds of sleep. Precious, precious sleep. How I have missed thee! And how much more important is that going to be in another week or so when I've got the babe home with us?

So back to buying cars. If you're like us, you know the benefits of doing a lot of your research on the Net. The days of going to the library and poring over back issues of consumer reports are mostly behind us. A simple web search allows you to get all the information you need from multiple sources without ever leaving your chair. If you're working a desk job this is also a benefit, because so often the dealerships are further away from your office and you don't need to leave work early just to go look at cars. When I bought a used car about 6 years ago, I did everything but test drive and buy the car online. Saved me a ton of time and hassle, and I didn't feel rushed into an impulsive buy without taking time to consider it. Car Prices being with they are, and insurance and gas usually being worse, this is not the time to make impulsive purchases.

Sometimes it's easier than others to stretch a dollar. I've been wishing for another pair of sweatpants lately. Sure, I've already got two pairs. Except one pair is getting worn thin in places and the other pair has a hand-sized white patch on the butt from the Bleach Incident of 2004. (Did you know that if you shove a bottle of bleach into a backpack and it lands upside down the bleach can, sorta, leak? And that it makes a godawful mess of whatever was inside the backpack?) So the gray pair with the bleach stain can only be worn with a long shirt when I'm in public and even then I feel very self-conscious about it.

Today we stopped at our favorite thrift store on the way home. The place looks like a castle, complete with crenelated turret on the top. Once again they were having a major half price sale, and I got sucked in to browse a bit off the racks.

A pair of sweatpants caught my eye. While I don't have the funds or the emotional ability to commit a chunk of change to new sweatpants, I did have the money in my change purse for these. They are a nice shade of light periwinkle. Perfect for house wear, they will go with all but two of the shirts I own, and they are decent for street wear. I brought them home and am now happily preparing to wear them to bed tonight.

Got to love those finds.

About a month ago I made some nifty wool socks for a friend of mine who's been having all sorts of foot troubles. It was great. The color was pretty, the wool was soft and warm, it gave me a great excuse to pick up a set of #8 double-points in wood. Which as I had hoped was really great. And she loved the socks as much/more than I did.

Last week I got a call that the socks had suffered an unfortunate accident. They met up with some hot water in a dark washing machine, and shrunk. Well, not just shrunk. Let's be truthful. These socks got boiled and felted.

Which means that they're now on my feet, since I've got small feet and she needed extra extra large to fit over swollen ankles and bulky toe bandaging. So nice. I mean, I'm sorry that they don't fit her, but now I've got a wonderfully warm pair of felted slipper socks that fit me perfectly and the bonus of getting to knit another pair in that pretty, pretty color on my wooden double-points.

I made the tuna casserole. It wasn't as good to our taste as promised. I'll tweak it a bit sometime in Feb and let you know the revisions. Until then, is there a point in sharing a recipe that I wouldn't really want to eat again?

How about another thought. It's Saturday. I'm making my homemade mac'n'cheese tonight, with hot dogs and peas. Another fine, traditional weekend Mom's busy meal.

My little boy was transferred closer to home this past week. I just got up to see him today. Not before today; well, it was cold and wet and we're all sick and I've been exhausted. Is that a real reason? It's A Reason. He need not need me hustling over there to be exhausted and emotional by his crib. Speaking of which, he's in an open crib now! Hot ChiliCheese Dog! Only one more step and he's eligible for coming home. That's the feeding aspect. Right now he's a poky little baby. Doesn't want to get down to business and nipple feed. He'd rather sleep.